My life is a long journey…

My life is a long journey…

Five years ago, during 2005, after a big change in my life I took the decision to start writing about my long journey in this life. It was something I had circulated in my mind the last difficult for me years. I need to do it… I need to remember everything… to recall them in my memory… to leave something from me to my children. I need to find the strength to forgive if I want to start over again.
I was born in Samos, an Aegean island, my island, the dream of my life… 42 years ago. I came to life the day after Clean Monday at the morning. My mother told me about the warship that was there that day. I gave hard time to the doctor… I was a tiny baby and he tried a lot to make me take the first breath.
I was the first child and grandchild for the family and the only girl for that generation. I was their princess… still I am. My family is always close to me. The family relationships in a greek family are very strong but the restrictions were too many. My father was a sailor.. a mechanical engineer and for a few years were a part owner of a motor ship with the name “Samos”. I remember one day that I took my accordion and accompanied my father playing music in a cruise with this ship… a cruise around Samos… He gave me the opportunity to grab the big steering wheel.

Ethics and principles… all for me not for my brother… He was the boy. She worried only for his education and business completeness. What a feeling!!! When the big ships arrived in my island my father had to sell the motor ship and start working at big ships all around the globe. My mother was the mother and the father for me and my brother. She was the head of the house. She was responsible for us for the home and to create the family's property. She was good… very good but always far away from me. We have never been friends. She was always there to place rules and restrictions special for me. I was the girl… I had to be the mirror of the family to the outside social cycle. My first flirt was a disaster… No flirts for Fotini… Not allowed for her. That was the main rule for me. I was a good student but when the young officer who rented one of the family's apartments came and asked the hand of their princess they gave it with relief. Not anymore need to worry that their daughter would have to leave and stay at the big city to study.

I married 2 weeks after I finished the high school. I was 17 years old… I do not say that it was a fault. I will never say that I am sorry or regret any part of my life. I am proud for the family I made. I raised 3 good children; I loved and offered my loyalty to my ex husband. I had tried to stay close to him all the time to help him at his job and at his career.
I lived with him 22 years, more years than with my parents. I grew up with him. We had the same dreams… his dreams. I had to follow my mother's example when he had to be at his training courses. I was the father and the mother of our children. After our wedding, 5 of July 1981, I left Samos. Samos was the beginning of my journey in this life!